Office Pranks That Will Make Them Say, “We’d Fire You, But You’re the Only Person With Open Availability.”

office pranks

Things getting a little dull around the office? Ready to liven things up a bit and give everyone a good laugh? Well, channel your inner Jim Halpert and give these office pranks a try. You could absolutely get fired for them, especially since your position is part time and entry level, but as long as you’re the one with the best availability, chances are your supervisors aren’t going to want to go through all the hassle and paperwork of letting you go. So go ahead and show your playful side because you honestly have nothing better to do.

Dress like a coworker for a week.

Subtle and hilarious! They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so why not kill two birds with one stone – get the office laughing while paying someone a huge compliment! By incorporating one aspect of the lucky victim’s personhood each day, you’ll keep the amusement rolling all week long! And by the end of the week, the hilarity will hit them so hard they won’t know what to think!

Monday: Dress exactly like them. You could just hit your local thrift shop and find similar items, but what is this? Amateur hour? Get your hands on the credit card receipts of Keith, the Program Coordinator, and find out where he buys his striped polo shirts, baggy khakis, and black slip-on dress shoes. And while you’re at it, grab his credit card, too! You’re only part-time and a good prank costs a little extra dinero.

Tuesday: Wear your hair like them. People will definitely start to notice something amusing is up when you stroll in with Keith’s signature cul-de-sac look. Give yourself a #4 buzzcut, making sure to completely shave the top.

Wednesday: Only respond to their name. When, at first, your co-workers refer to you by your real name, you can give them a few friendly reminders – “I’m sorry, my name is Keith.” They’ll be sure to get a kick out trying to get Rachel to do stuff, but this “Rachel” they speak of no longer exists! LOL!

Thursday: Model their speech patterns and movement. Follow Keith around and take note of the nasally way he says “Rachel – I mean Keith, did you eat my ham sandwich?” And then when you respond, “No. I ate my ham sandwich,” notice the way he storms off with his feet pointed slightly outward. Once you’re moving and talking exactly like him, your coworkers won’t even know which one is the real Keith! So funny!

Friday: Murder Keith in the parking lot. Your co-workers will be none the wiser, especially after you spend the rest of the day gaslighting them and making them think they’re crazy and you’ve been Keith all along. It’ll be hilarious when you sit in Keith’s office, pretend to do all his work, drive his car back to his house, pretend to parent his kids, grab beers with his friends, and sleep with his wife while everyone else in the office thinks you’re him! Classic!

Fake an office romance.

Every workplace loves a little gossip! Get the office pulse racing by coming in one day, looking sweaty and worried. Whoever happens to be the next bloke to stroll into the break room (bonus points if he’s married!), give him dagger eyes and immediately and awkwardly excuse yourself, glaring at him on the way out. Keep this up the rest of the day whenever you two are in the same room. After lunch, come back into the office and accidentally spill the contents of your purse all over your boss’s desk and draw special attention to an opened pregnancy test. Hurriedly scoop up the contents, saving the pregnancy test for last. Then, when everyone’s gathered in the conference room for a meeting, stand out in the hallway and cry out, “ I don’t care what he says, I’m keeping it!” The next day, storm into the office and throw a dildo at your faux office beau, making sure to shout loud enough for all to hear, “If you like getting pegged so much, here! I hope you two are happy together!” If this doesn’t get the onlookers chortling, call up your fake fling’s significant other and put her on speakerphone. Even the squares from Accounting will get a giggle out of hearing you try to explain to poor, unsuspecting Susan that her husband’s got a thing for some serious ass play and that he may be the father of your unborn child!

Replace the powdered creamer with cocaine.

Day in and day out, your officemates can’t stop commenting on how tired they are, and they consistently fall asleep at their desks while playing Solitaire. Lift their spirits with this simple shenanigan! Come in early and replace the powder coffee creamer with cocaine! Sit back and let the laughter roll as your coworkers’ new burst of energy causes them to dismantle all the smoke detectors and try to roast a goat under Brenda’s desk. Take the fun up a level by suggesting everyone compete in office Olympics, wherein the guys from Shipping & Receiving try to duct tape as many people as they can to a wall and try to squeeze as many interns as they can into a cardboard box and load them on to today’s outgoing truck.

Re-enact “The Belko Experiment.”

A great joke is also a thought-provoking one. Get the office laughing with this character-building exercise. During your break, head outside and jam every door. Put your coworkers’ noggins to the test by locking them all in the building, and coming in over the PA, announcing that only one of them makes it out alive! Extra comedy bonus points if you came in early to hide various weapons around the office. Tell them that whoever is the last person standing at 4:00pm gets to leave, but if there’s more than one person left alive, everyone dies. Unearthing any secret psychopaths will be fun for the whole office and, granted there is at least one survivor, you’ll be sure to go down in prank master history!

When you start to notice a dip in your workplace morale, forget the ongoing small talk about weather and traffic. Spice things up and give these practical jokes a try. Your colleagues will definitely be affected by your fun-loving nature. And remember, their threats to fire you are probably empty because firing someone is a huge hassle and you’re the easiest one to schedule.

 

 

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